Co-parenting After Divorce: Making it work for you and your children
Parenting after divorce can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be a total nightmare.
If you and your ex can work together as co-parents, it can actually benefit your children in the long run.
By establishing a parenting plan and sticking to it, you and your ex can help minimize the stress and chaos that often comes with a split family.
Top 3 Mistakes For Parenting After Divorce
1. One of the biggest mistakes people make when parenting after divorce is trying to do it all on their own.
Parenting through divorce can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.
Many resources are available to help you, including online courses for thriving after divorce, therapists, and advisors.
2. Trying to control what happens at your ex’s house.
You are not in control of what happens at your ex’s house and the sooner you can accept that there are multiple ways to effectively parent, the better you will feel and the better parent you will be.
Unless there is proven abuse and neglect, the court will usually stick with what a parent does in their home is their business.
3. Letting your guilt from the divorce change how you parent.
Rules, boundaries, and expectations should be no different than before divorce. Because you have feelings that you associate with the divorce it is natural to assign those same feelings to your children’s behavior. DON’T. They are being kids and need you to set limits and boundaries because these things let them know that they are safe and loved. You need to start by being the best version of yourself and modeling it for your kids.
Parenting after divorce doesn’t have to be a nightmare if you’re willing to put in the work to heal.
By following the tips and the lessons inside the Thriving After Divorce self-paced course, you can make parenting after divorce work for you and your children. By focusing on being the parent you want to be, the things you can control, and the relationship you create with your child you can build your co-parenting skills.
Cheryl Cline, Author of Thriving Afer Divorce
After my divorce I was the kind of parent who co-parented in reaction to my emotions. I was hurt.
If my ex didn’t parent the way I did, or how we had always done while we were married, then in my eyes he was doing it wrong. Needless to say, this led to a lot of arguments and tension between us.
When I realized this was only hurting my kids, I changed my perspective. I began to appreciate that there is more than one way to parent and that trying to control how they were parenting was not going to help anything.
So instead, I focused on healing myself and taking care of myself.
This helped me be my best self when I was around the kids. And I also started budgeting so we could adjust to living on a single income. This took some of the stress out of our lives and allowed us more time together as a family.
Finally, I gathered up all the resources I could find – from meal planning tips to bedtime routine ideas – and created a cheat sheet for myself. This way, when life got hectic, I had somewhere to turn for help.
The end result? We’re all happier now than we ever have been before. The kids know that their parents love them no matter what, and we are able to co-parent in a much more positive way.
All of these resources can be found inside Thriving After Divorce.
“Children won’t be at their best if you aren’t at your best.”
Resources about healing and investing in yourself can be found inside lesson 2 and 4 of the Thriving After Divorce self-paced course.