As a single mom, you are strong, capable, and deserving of regular me-time. Work, childcare, housework, and everything else on your to-do list can make it seem impossible to find time for yourself. But it’s important to schedule some time each week to relax and recharge, even if it’s just a few minutes.
The Strength of a Single Mom
Being a single mom is hard. You have little humans who need and rely on you for all their needs. There are days you feel like you have nothing left to give, yet somehow you always have enough for your kids.
Even when you feel defeated and scared, you are their safe place, where they find calm and comfort. No one in this world can hide fear and stress like a Mom who is staying strong for her kids.
“A single mother has to be tough, independent, patient, and loving at the same time. They are superhumans.”
Unknown
I have been married and been a stay-at-home mom, a married woman who works outside of the home, and a single mom working outside of the home. Being a single mom working outside of the home was the hardest. I see you, I hear you, I was you.
Dedicating Time For Yourself As A Single Mom
When you Google for help or comfort, you will read articles about the importance of why you should take care of yourself to be the best mom for your kids. I am convinced those articles are written by men or women who have never been single moms.
However, you will hear me say the same thing. Take care of yourself first so you can best take care of the people and things important to you. The difference is that I will offer solutions and not tell you that you should do it. You want to know how to do that when there is no time left in your day and no energy left to give, and I’ve got ten ways that you can find ‘me time’ amid your busy schedule.
How To Find Me Time In A Busy Single Mom’s Schedule
- Take breaks. Ask a neighbor, friend, or family member to watch your kids while you take a 15-minute walk. You may find it challenging to find someone to watch your kids for hours at a time, but most people will watch a child for 15 minutes. Being outside in the sunshine and fresh air for just 15 minutes will help clear your mind and help you reset. Listen to an uplifting podcast or music during your walk. If you have my Second Chances App, go to Encouragement and listen to the weekly uplifting message.
- Create routines. Morning and nighttime routines will help you feel more in control of what may seem like an out-of-control life. Do what you can in the evening to make your mornings less stressful and rushed. In the evening, set a 15-minute timer and tell the kids it is “make-ready time.” During this time, everyone picks up as fast as possible, wipes counters and sinks, and does the dishes. Not only will the kids see this as a game, but you are more likely to get them to commit to 15 minutes of clean-up rather than giving them a chore, and you are teaching them a good habit. You now have control of the surface clutter, and when you go to sleep, you will not be thinking of what you need to do in the morning or after you get home from work. Doing a quick pick-up nightly will help you not feel so overwhelmed with chores, and you will be able to clean easier when you clean.
- Find your support. Find other single moms who meet at the park, take walks with the kids, or do trade-off play dates. Even if you get together where you will have your kids, at least you will be around women who support each other and give you some adult conversation.
- Take the time where you can. When the kids go to bed, instead of turning on the latest episode of Real Housewives, take this time to light a candle, put some lovely bath salts in the tub, and soak. Take this time to be in the moment and breathe. You can also get up 30 minutes earlier, enjoy your coffee, read, journal, or practice gratitude.
“Being a single mom is not for the faint of heart… It’s for the brave, the strong, the courageous.”
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- Let the kids cook. If your child is at least five years old, they can make you dinner. Your child’s cooking may consist of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a side of chips, but that’s ok. They will be proud of making dinner, will make a memory, and you didn’t have to cook. As they get older, teach them age-appropriate meals they can prepare. After peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they could graduate to a cheese quesadilla or a grilled cheese sandwich. Find ideas here.
- Go to church. Most churches offer kid’s services or kids’ care. Your kids are being loved and are learning about Jesus. Take this time to fuel your soul.
- Set healthy boundaries. Teach your kids about the importance of alone time. Your child’s age will determine how much alone time you will need. If they are too young to leave unattended, teach them to look at a book and lay beside you while you read, but let them know this is quiet time.
- Enjoy the time the kids are with their dad. Instead of worrying about them or being sad, embrace this time alone. Do the things you have felt you were missing out on, pamper yourself, or get caught up on what you have been putting off. Just don’t waste this time.
- Utilize your lunch break. During your work lunch break, find ways to find some “me time.” Find a quiet spot to eat and read a book or if you are near a park, have your lunch outside.
- Give time to your kids. Sometimes if you give your child your uninterrupted attention, that is all they need. It can quieten the “mom, mom, momma, hey mom” chant you constantly hear. Once you are intentional with your time spent with your child, you won’t feel guilty asking for some uninterrupted time for yourself.
Bonus Tip: Above all else, give yourself some grace. There will be days that you don’t get everything done. There will be days that you don’t feel like you were even an adequate mom, much less the best mom. Your kids still think you are the greatest until they are teenagers, and then they may not like you, but that is a blog for a different day.
Recap: The Importance of ‘Me Time’ for Single Moms
As a single mom, it’s essential to make time for yourself. Taking some ‘me time’ can help you relax and recharge to be your best for your family. You can incorporate ‘me time’ into your day with some planning and effort. So go ahead and give yourself permission to take a break- you deserve it!
It’s also important to find a supportive community of other single moms. They can offer advice, encouragement, and understanding. Finally, JOIN Thriving After Divorce for even more resources and support as a single mom. With these tools, you can take care of yourself and continue taking care of your family and being the strong, beautiful single mom you are.
