I was 26 years old with a 2-year-old when I picked up the phone… not knowing who to reach out to I called a lawyer to get a divorce. Sadly the lady’s voice on the other end of that phone gave me zero empathy or compassion.
I was scared. I thought I had no support.
What I wanted was someone to say they would guide me through the fears I had. I needed to lean on someone who had gone before me. Someone who understood the hard I was going through but confirmed to me I was strong enough to pull through a divorce.
Without this assistance, I felt alone. So I stayed married.
I stayed in that extremely unhealthy marriage for fourteen more years. Without getting into details, I allowed the affairs, drinking, and gambling to continue. Did I deserve this abusive treatment like my husband repeatedly told me? No, I didn’t, and I had enough.
I was still scared.
I had been at home, raising our two children for 13 years. I had no college degree and no clue how I was going to support our family.
All the questions swirled inside my head… “How would I feed them? Where would we live? What did I do to cause this? Am I that unloveable? How will I get a job with no experience?”
This time my call to a lawyer was met with a kind woman who guided me, had been where I was, and assured me that I would be ok.
After my divorce, women were coming out of the woodworks to talk to me. They, too, felt alone inside an unhealthy marriage and wanted to know the steps I took to make it through a divorce still smiling and loving life on the other end.
This need led me to type out my actions and create “Steps To A Second Chance.” An approach to guide women who feel all alone and drowning in self-doubt, not knowing who to confide in during the beginning stages of an unhealthy marriage.
Today I choose to share my story.
I’m not hiding in fear but living in freedom and power, knowing my influence can champion another woman inside an unhealthy marriage.
My Values & Beliefs
I believe in marriage
… but also believe marriage takes two people with God at the core, and without those things, divorce can become inevitable.
I believe we all have a story to tell
… and we can help others by sharing it.
I believe we should put in the work
… to know who we truly are and see ourselves the way God sees us.
I believe we should not waste the time
… we have been given. Even during “downtime”, it should be used for prayer, meditation, relaxing and refueling our mind, body, and soul.
I believe we should continue to grow
… and never be the person we were a year ago. We should grow our relationships, work to be a better version of ourself, and keep learning.
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