It’s the Holiday season, but divorce has left you feeling less than holly jolly. Everywhere you turn, the message is peace and joy, and you are not feeling either of those things. The best part of the holidays after divorce is freedom. No longer do you have to endure hours of family time with your in-laws or deal with the stress of coordinating travel plans. You can finally take a break from all the holiday hoopla and just relax. And if you’re feeling particularly bold, you can even use your newfound freedom to start a new holiday tradition of your own. Keep reading to prepare for the best and worst parts of the holidays after divorce.
You No Longer Have To Deal With Your Ex Over The Holidays
If you have followed me for a hot minute, you know I am going to tell you to focus on the positive side of things, so let’s start there. You are no longer going to have to deal with your ex. That’s right, no busting your butt to buy all of the gifts, making sure you get just the perfect gift, wrapping the gifts, helping Santa put the gifts out at night, and then having to tell your now ex what “you and he” bought the kids. Only to have him ask how much you spent or why you didn’t buy something else.
Did you ever help the kids buy something for their Dad, and you picked out something special for him, but you sit there empty-handed or with a gift he picked up at the store on the way home and is nothing you would ever use, and you wonder if he even knows you or not? I can’t tell you how many times I was told my gift was lost in the mail. There is a delivery truck sitting somewhere with 20 years of incredible gifts for me. You don’t have to deal with that now. Buy yourself something, take your kids to a store, give them some money to shop for you, or ask a friend to help them.
After Divorce, You Don’t Have Anyone To Share The Holidays With
No more splitting time between his family and your family. Can I get a Hallelujah? If you’re a divorced parent, the kids will still go to their Dad’s for the holiday, which can be hard, but take this time to be grateful you are not there and take time to clean up, put on some comfy pj’s and turn on a movie, or go spend time with your family.
Should we discuss how you won’t be working in the kitchen cooking all day as you look at him relaxing in his recliner and only coming to check on you, so he can steal a bite to eat? Don’t want to cook this year? Start a new tradition and get takeout. My boys and I did this, and it was a great tradition. We opened gifts Christmas morning, ate lunch at the hibachi grill, and went to a movie. It was the most relaxing Christmas that I remember.
You May Feel Lonely Or Left Out
The flip side of all this freedom is that you may also feel a bit lonely during the holidays. After all, divorce often means saying goodbye to friends and extended family members who were once part of your holiday celebrations.
Parties are everywhere, and if you aren’t invited, you are sure that it is because you don’t have anyone to go with, but if you are invited, you don’t want to go to the party because you don’t want to go alone. It is a vicious circle. My advice is to go if you want to go and don’t go if you don’t want to. Don’t let the divorce or not having a date keep you from enjoying yourself. Also, remember your friends may be trying to be courteous by not inviting you, knowing that it is hard to get a babysitter and money is tight. This is new for them, and not quite sure how to act either.
It’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are plenty of other people out there who are facing the holidays after a divorce, and many of them are feeling just as lost and confused as you are. So take heart and know that you are not alone in this challenging time.
Find Ways To Enjoy The Holidays Your Way Even Without A Partner
Ultimately, you can make the holidays what you want them to be and find ways to enjoy them even without a partner. Even though it may feel like the holidays are going to be a total bust after your divorce, there are actually a lot of ways that you can make them enjoyable.
- First of all, this is the perfect time to start new traditions. If you have always wanted to go on a certain vacation or try a different type of holiday dinner, now is your chance!
- Secondly, take this opportunity to do something you have always wanted to do. Have you always wanted to learn how to ski or bake gingerbread houses? This is the year to do it!
- Thirdly, surround yourself with friends and family who will make you feel loved and supported.
- Finally, if all else fails, get your girlfriends together for a sappy Christmas movie marathon.
Whatever you do, remember that you can make the holidays whatever you want them to be.
Thriving after divorce is possible- these blog articles will show you how.
In Closing: Embrace Your New Holiday Season
So if you’re feeling down this holiday season, remember that you’re not alone, and there’s always light at the end of the tunnel! The holidays after divorce can be a chance for new traditions and experiences. Embrace it!
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