You may be ready to jump back in the dating world or you don’t see it anywhere in your near future, either way, it is important that you take care of some important business first. These are steps that I believe are important to accomplish before dating after divorce.
1 – Before Dating After Divorce: Discover Who You Are
If I were to ask you who you are would your answer be filled with nouns and pronouns…Mom, teacher, secretary, doctor, friend…? It is important to not let things, people, or careers, define you. If you know who you are at the core, no one can tell you differently and if those things disappear (divorce, loss of job, death) you risk feeling like a part of you is lost and struggle with finding who you are and your purpose. I am Cheryl and I am a loving, loyal, and caregiving woman.
2 – Take Time To Discover What You Want
Have you ever thought “I never get what I want”? but yet you don’t really know what you want? You may know at the moment that you wanted “that job” or “that car”, but know the big picture of what you want and your plan to get there. If you don’t know what you want, no one else will either, and it is likely you won’t get it.
3 – Be Financially Able to Support Yourself
No matter how much money you have, it is safe to say that your lifestyle will have to change after you get a divorce unless you want to blow through everything you have quickly. This can be a financially difficult time, but if you do not wait until you are able to financially support yourself, there is a high risk that you will get into a new relationship based on financial stability.
4 – Completely Heal Before Dating After Divorce
You do not want to start dating after divorce until you have healed. If you are not your best, you will not attract the best. You also run the risk of ruining a potentially good relationship by bringing your raw emotions to the game. If you both are not healthy, the relationship will not be healthy.
Making the Choice To Start Again
When you choose if dating after divorce is right for you, take the time to heal and be ready to begin a new chapter. Being at your best before you start dating lets you be pickier. You won’t be choosing someone because you are lonely or need help. Instead, you’ll be healthy, confident, and ready to attract the best.
In my “Divorce Decision”, part of my Second Chance Model, I share my journey. I have been where you are today and I know the important steps to take in order to move forward in life, with courage and confidence.