The holidays are a time for family, friends, and loved ones. But if you’re divorced, you might be feeling a little lonely during this festive season. The holidays can be tough if you’ve recently gone through a divorce. It’s natural to feel lonely and isolated, especially if you’re used to spending the holidays with your family. However, there are things you can do to make the holidays after divorce more enjoyable. Here are some tips on how to cope and prepare for this season if you’re feeling lonely during the holidays after divorce.
Wake Me Up When It’s Over
Do you wish you could fall asleep after Halloween and not wake up until January, after all of the holiday parties are over, the Christmas decorations are packed away, the holiday parties are over, and the Christmas music has been turned off?
No matter how well you have been coping with your divorce, there is a certain sting that comes with your first holiday season after your divorce. You are not quite sure how to act, and even though there are people and activities everywhere you look, but you have never felt more lonely. Not to mention that you feel like everyone is looking at you with pity.
The first “everything” after divorce is the hardest.
Here are five tips to help you get through the holidays and have some fun.
1. Be careful of selective memory.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of only remembering the holidays of the past as perfect. You will remember all of the fun times you had as a family and all of the memories you made, forgetting the times that were not so great. When you do this, you are holding your mood hostage to a false memory of perfection. It is important that you remember the good and the bad.
2. Create a New Tradition
Start one new tradition. You don’t have to keep doing things the same as you always have. You may start new traditions that become your favorite tradition. After my divorce, my kids and I decided after they opened gifts from Santa, we would go to a Hibachi grill and then to go watch a movie. This was one of my most relaxed and favorite Christmases.
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3. Volunteer
The opportunities to volunteer are everywhere you look during the holiday season; take advantage of them. Volunteering gives you the opportunity to focus on someone other than yourself. Experts say that volunteering can help with depression, give you a sense of purpose, and increase your self-esteem.
4. Make Self-Care a Priority
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. This time of year, temptation is all around. It is easy to drink too much alcohol, overeat, consume too much sugar, skip workouts, and not getting enough sleep. Not taking care of yourself properly will only make any feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness worse.
Learn more about how to incorporate self-care into your healing process.
5. Surround Yourself with Friends and Family, but Choose Wisely
Surround yourself with people you love, who love and care for you back. Avoid friends and family who are unsupportive. This is not the time to talk about divorce. Have a short reply ready for when people ask how you are doing.
In Closing: Give Yourself Grace
The holidays only last a few weeks. Show yourself some grace and take this time to mind shift. Instead of thinking that you will be alone forever, remember that this is a season and difficult times don’t last forever. Try to view the holiday season as a chance for a new adventure. This is an opportunity to explore different aspects of your life and create memories that will last a lifetime. So don’t let divorce stop you from enjoying the holidays – use this time to create some unforgettable experiences.
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