Single moms are superheroes. They wear many hats and do it all with grace, strength, and style. But being a single mom can be tough, especially when trying to do everything independently. Keep reading to learn five things single moms can do to make sure their kids believe they are superheroes.
Will You Be Their Hero?
Who was your hero as a child? It was likely an athlete, musician, actor, or someone in the limelight. Yet, if you watch interviews and speeches of many of these public figures, they say their Mom is a hero.
One of the stresses you may have felt during your divorce was worrying about how the divorce would affect your child. You want to protect your child and not cause them stress or harm. So, imagining how you could ever be their hero may be incomprehensible.
Now that you are a single mom, you are even more worried about how you can provide them with all they want and need, much less be the “cool, fun Pinterest Mom.”
Of course, you can do no wrong when your kids are babies and toddlers, but the older they get, they lose some of that awe. Then you worry if they will ever like you again as they only see you as the rule maker or the “warden,” as I was called when they become teenagers.
It is not your job to ensure your kids like you, and you should not try to be their buddy. If you parent well, they will be your friend later.
5 Ways To Be A Super Single Mom
Here are five ways to parent well so that you will be their hero.
1. Do the best with what you have.
Your finances may be tight, and you can’t buy them everything they want or take them everywhere they want, but you can still create memories, even as a single mom. When my husband was first separated from his ex-wife, he didn’t have a Christmas tree, was in graduate school, and didn’t have the money to buy one. He bought some green paper, and his two boys cut out a Christmas tree on that paper and drew on ornaments. The boys are now ages 18 and 20; if you ask them what their favorite Christmas tree is, they will tell you the paper tree. When I married their dad, I laminated the tree, and we still have it.
2. Focus on quality time over quantity.
You are exhausted and may feel you can’t give them the time and attention your child desires. Focus on creating quality time when you are already together. Create small silly games, sing songs or use conversation starters you can do when you are already together, such as in the car, at dinner, waiting in lines, or during nighttime routines. At dinner, I play best and worst with my kids. We each share the best part of our day and the worst part of our day. This creates excellent conversation, we learn about each other, we laugh, and it creates a tradition.
3. Take steps to create a life you want to live.
As a single mom, you are so focused on the kids that you may find yourself focusing on yourself last, and somedays, there is nothing leftover for you. Focus on taking care of yourself to be your best for your kids. Don’t abandon your dreams until the kids are grown and out of the house. Decide what you want your life to look like, set goals, and do something every day that will get you closer to reaching those goals. Your kids are watching the hard work and will become your biggest cheerleaders.
4. Cooperate with their other parent.
Just because your ex doesn’t play nice doesn’t mean you have to play the same way. Your kids watch and hear you, even when you don’t know they are. If your ex doesn’t play nice, they will tell your child what you said to them. Make sure there is nothing for them to tell. When you vent to your family or friends, your child is listening. Talk to a professional if you need to release your anger and frustration. Your job is to encourage and support your child’s relationship with their other parent.
5. Provide them with a safe and loving home.
Divorce may have caused you to have to move and not live in the family home they knew, and you may not have a big fancy house, but that does not mean you can’t make the home you are in now a safe and loving space for them. When kids know what to expect, they feel safe. Having schedules and creating routines is a great way to do this. Create a calm and clutter-free space for them that feels peaceful to them.
Recap: Being A Single Mom Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Be A Superhero To Your Kids
Single moms are superheroes. You wear many hats and do it all with grace, strength, and style. But being a single mom can be tough, especially when trying to do everything independently. Doing these five things is you modeling what a good parent is, married or not. You might not have superpowers, but you’re probably pretty darn close in your children’s eyes. One day when they are grown, or maybe when they become a parent, they will understand what you did for them and wonder how you were able to hide your superhero cape from them.
I know how hard it is to be a single mom. That’s why I’ve put together this Rebuilding Your Life: A 7-Day Guide for Struggling Single Moms to help you rebuild your life after divorce. Are you ready to rebuild? Download the FREE guide today.
