My Top 4 Foolish Mistakes After Divorce

Divorce can be a stressful and overwhelming experience, leaving you feeling like everything is out of control. For many people, the freedom that comes after divorce brings with it both an inspiring sense of opportunity and an urgent need to figure out new ways of living quickly. You may feel motivated to start your life anew or weighed down by emotional baggage from the past. Unfortunately, I made 4 mistakes after divorce – in my journey through post-divorce life that greatly inhibited my ability to find true happiness and peace. In this blog post, I will share what happened so you can learn from my mistakes!

My Top 4 Mistakes After Divorce

“Did you make any mistakes with your divorce or dealing with your ex?”.

This was a question I was recently asked by a lady who was in the middle of her divorce. I laughed and said, “yes.”

When I look back at what I did wrong during my divorce and the healing process, there is one common thread. I reacted based on my emotions.

What did this look like for me, and what can you learn from this?

Mistake #1 – I tried to talk to my ex about the rules at his house when the kids were with him.

Luckily for me, I quickly realized, with the help of an incredible therapist, this type of co-parenting after divorce would not work. You can not control what happens at your ex’s house. You are no longer in control when your kids are with their other parent.

If you believe they are being harmed, contact the authorities, but beyond that, you have no say over how your ex parents the child.

Mistake #2 – I let my ex pull at my heartstrings.

My ex once told me he had no money to buy groceries because he had to pay me child support, and he had nothing left over.

I spent what little money I had to buy him groceries, only to later find out in court that the money he spent on his new girlfriend and social activities would have been enough for groceries for a year for my two kids and me. You are no longer a part of a couple.

While they are still your child’s other parent, and you should be respectful and encouraging of the relationship between them and your child, that is where it ends. You are no longer responsible for their well-being.

Mistake #3 – I openly talked about my ex’s girlfriend.

While I didn’t openly talk to my kids about my ex’s girlfriend, I also don’t believe I hid my emotions well for how I felt about her. I blamed her for some of my ex’s behavior, and while I may have been right with that feeling and what they were doing may have been wrong, holding onto that animosity kept me from rebuilding my life and moving forward. Your ex and everything associated with them is part of your past. Put them behind you and make a fresh start.

Mistake #4 – I did not treat my divorce like a business transaction at the beginning.

My ex had convinced me that we would use one lawyer since we were not arguing over anything, and it would save us money. I had agreed, and one clerical issue caused me to have to get my own lawyer. I can’t begin to tell you how much this protected me in the long run. Don’t make the same mistakes when finalizing your divorce. Your divorce is a business transaction; treat it as so and leave your emotions out of your decision-making.

You may also find these articles on how to start over after divorce helpful. Take a look!

Conclusion: Learn From My Mistakes After Divorce

No one likes to think about their marriage ending in divorce, but unfortunately, it’s a reality for many people. If you find yourself in this difficult situation, there are some things you can do to help make the transition smoother and lessen the impact on your life. In this blog post, I’ve shared some of the mistakes I made after my divorce and what I learned from them. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others avoid making the same mistakes.

If anyone tells you they were able to accomplish anything significant without mistakes and they are without flaws, turn around and go the other direction. Everything I teach you in my FREE ON-DEMAND VIDEO TRAINING is everything I did right, what I did wrong, what I wish someone had told me, and what I have learned since talking to other professionals.

Other articles about healing after divorce can be found here: