When you see interviews with couples who have been in a healthy marriage for 50 plus years, and they are asked what advice they give to young couples or what made their marriage a success, you will hear them talk about love, friendship, laughter, communication, and trust. Those are not wrong answers, but you have to have RESPECT for you to have any of those. Respect is the #1 ingredient to a happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriage. In this blog, we’ll talk about respecting our partner and why it is crucial and non-negotiable for a healthy marriage.
Non-Negotiable For A Healthy Marriage: Respect
Respect does not mean that you have to agree with the other person 100% of the time. You can still admire them for their qualities despite not agreeing with their opinion. That’s respect.
So, how do you know if you are being respected or being respectful? Observe how you and your partner listen to each other. Do you listen to understand each other, or do you listen to argue, defend your side, or disgrace the other?
Kyle Benson, a blogger with the Gottman Institute, has a quote that I love. “Check your jersey.” This means there can be two sides to every conflict but remember you are both on the same team. If you are on separate teams and keeping a score, both partners lose.
Why is RESPECT So Crucial For A Healthy Marriage?
- Respect allows you to be vulnerable with each other without fear of being judged.
- Respect upholds healthy boundaries in the relationship.
- Respect lets you know that despite differences, you and your partner are working toward the same goal.
- Respect nurtures trust.
What My Journey Through Divorce Taught Me
Even though my marriage was full of infidelity, gambling, and excessive drinking, what broke our marriage was the lack of respect. He did not value me, so he gave me no respect. Because of the damage that had been done, I had no respect for him. I did not value him.
You can’t make someone respect you; you can refuse to be disrespected. Respect is non-negotiable when it comes to building a healthy marriage. Maybe you need to take a closer look at your marriage… I’ve created a free quiz to help you evaluate your marriage. You may find your marriage is unhealthy and in trouble. Or perhaps your marriage just needs a tune. Healthy marriages are consistently re-evaluating and making adjustments!
